Can't Teach an Old Jackass New Tricks

Do you not finding absurdly laughable when certain individuals make themselves out to be bigger and tougher then they actually are? Well, this would seem to apply to David Guillory, or Safari Dave (or perhaps, in the case of his roommate, Fat Dave) and yet another lively discussion with the in-depth flip-flopper.

Case in point – the evening of Wednesday, April 6th, 2005, I had just left Marquette Hall from a movie entitled “Goodbye Children”, which I had to watch and later review for Western Civilization 002, and was heading into the library to finish the English 002 paper due the next day (a majority of which had previously been completed the day before as a rough draft copy but transition between paragraphs remained to be worked out properly). In any event, I went upstairs and sat down at a computer in “the office” (if you do not get this, it is okay – it is an inside joke between a couple of my friends) to begin my work.

Now, even though I can easily be distracted from my work, thus explaining why it will often take me longer to write up a coherent essay when I am listening to music or watching television then it would if I were alone in a relatively quiet library, every time I sit down at a computer I have to bring up AOL Instant Messenger. This is out of habit I will admit, but every once in awhile I do need to ask someone online a question concerning a specific class I have with them or to help me out with writer’s block, etc. This does not distract me as much as listening to music would, probably because I can work on portions of the paper long enough before I have to respond to the messages from the people I am talking to online.

Suddenly, as I am typing up my English essay, a grey box from instant messenger pops up stating that someone by the name of “h—achman” (which has been concealed for privacy issues, though in all honesty I do not believe this will make a difference in this matter at all) wanted to chat with me online. Though I thought about declining the invitation, I had not placed every one of my friends’ AIM ID on my buddy list and I did not want to appear rude to a person that had noticed me either in the library or online. I accepted the invitation and this is what I received:

h--achman: Whats up!

M-c-eyM—se-U: who is this?

h--achman: Oh you know who i am

h--achman: My name is safari dave

My initial reaction was that of surprise, then of concern. Was this person stalking me or something? I do not know, the phrase “you know who I am” does not feel very comforting to me. True, the article I had written in the Marquette Tribune may have pissed him off a little bit (an understatement, I admit) and the response I had posted on the weblog concerning his e-mail message to me may not have made his day, but I never once considered he would be going to this extensive a length to confront me.

Given that the time at which he decided to contact me was around ten in the evening and I had just come back from a two hour long movie that was less then satisfying (why this was chosen in place of Schindler’s List, a film I would be more then willing to sit through and review for a history course, is beyond my level of comprehension), not to mention I was still quite a ways off from completing my English paper, this was not exactly the best time in which to get into a political discussion. Once I start going on a rant or a debate, there is little in the way that can stop me. As soon as I get going based on political discussion, it is quite difficult to find a way in which to stop me, so this would prove to be another distraction I was not willing to contend with.

I willing to give him the benefit of the doubt for the evening and perhaps chat online at a later, more accessible, time period later in the week, but when I pulled up the chat window, I saw the following:

h--achman: Have time for a debate or are you just going to throw slander about me from my dumb f*ck roomate!

Whether he was upset that his roommate had made such accusation about him or not (though from I have seen from discussions with the following individuals involved in this discussion it does not seem to me as though these sentiments are a secret amongst each other, so I doubt this was of main concern anyway), the following statement was uncalled for and I was more then happy to end the discussion right then and there.

But he continued to be persistent in sending me messages and I believed that if I confronted him and at least stated something to the effect of chatting some other time, even if I did not go through with it, I could at least complete my work that evening and return back to the dorm at a reasonable hour. Sadly he had not reached the end of venting his liberally (mis)guided aggression toward me:

M-c-eyM—se-U: upset, are we?

h--achman: what's the matter, cat got your tongue...nothing intelligent to say?

h--achman: holy sh*t!!!

h--achman: he can speak...took a lot for you to think of that response, didn't it, einstein?

Excuse me, this is of course at the individual who went to high school with this charming negotiator and defended Mr. Guillory's hate-mongering through the association that I was too aggressive against this harmless victim of circumstance, do you still believe that I am the one who should apologize in this debate? Right. I could waste my precious time commenting on the following statements, but that would be stating the obvious, now would it not? I will simply let his insolent language speak for itself.

h--achman: Oh by the way, Zieg is spelled Sieg

What he is of course referring to is the title “Zieg Heil Mr. Guillory” which I used as a humorous reference to his anti-Semitic statements contained within the e-mail message he had sent to me responding to the article written in discussion of the Israeli/Palestinian conflict (as well as an inside joke concerning a specific line from the Green Day song, “Holiday”, which I had been listening to at the time I posted it on the weblog). Not surprising Mr. Guillory is incorrect in his statement – the “Zieg” in “Zieg Hail” is spelled correctly.

In closing out the rather limited discussion, Mr. Guillory yet again made a declaration toward me that he wished to conduct a public debate over the issue of my “infantile” political views. Here is an intriguing question for you, Mr. Guillory – if this weblog is such a threat to you and the information that I have posted concerning you and your scornful sidekick, “Lil Jon”, is so damaging to you (something of which they should have no complaint against since the only statements that I have posted from them are the ones they have sent me through either e-mail or facebook messages and are their exact words), why bother wasting your own time putting together a public debate (which would include – among other things – reserving a room, selecting a non-partisan moderator, promotion of the event, etc.), as well as my own, why not simply defend your “honor”, or what you have left, here on the site? Liberals happen to be so wrapped-up in their self-ambition and Machiavellian-style dynamics in achieving this inescapable desire that they are entirely oblivious to the fact that the short-distance between “Point A” and “Point B” is more often then not a straight line.

I guess the old saying is true – you can’t teach an old dog (or in this case, an old jackass) new tricks.