Wednesday, October 18, 2006

South Park Satirizes Conspiracy Retards

This is why I love South Park as much as I do. For as long as it has been on television, ten seasons up to this point, it is still funny, unlike The Simpsons which seriously ‘jumped the shark’ some time ago and remains on the air for the sheer purpose of profits. Don’t even get me started on the movie which in my mind is several years too late. On top of being funny, South Park is relevant and politically incorrect, something that should fire up any young conservative.

In their second episode of the tenth season (the first, while not politically relevant, did do a great job of mocking World of Warcraft), Trey Parker and Matt Stone satirized the 9/11 conspiracy theorists (the ¼ of Americans who are retarded) in the episode entitled ‘The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce’. In it we discover that the 9/11 conspiracy sites are run by the government and that the government wants the American people to believe they have total control over everything and therefore caused the 9/11 attacks. So the 9/11 conspiracy is in fact a government conspiracy.

Cartman: [singing] It is wrong for me to ask questions? Is it wrong to seek the truth? I just can't blindly accept their version. I can't base my logic on proof. Almost all the evidence points one way, but I'm like Charlie Sheen and Gloria Estefan: I need to know what really happened on 9/11-leven-leven-leven-leven. What really happened on 9/11?

Cartman: [leaves his seat and goes to the front of the class with his laptop.] For Show and Tell today I have brought... [puts on some glasses] shocking Powerpoint report on the truth!.. [removes the glasses for dramatic effect] behind the 9/11 attacks! [the lights go out and a projector is turned on]

Kyle: [rolls his eyes] Oh Christ...

Cartman: [his first image is that of the Twin Towers] We are told to believe that the fire from the jet fuel melted the steel framing of the towers, [the image gets animated as a cross-section of a wall is picked apart and the steel girders shown, which led to their collapse] which led to their collapse. But did you know jet fuel doesn't burn at a high enough temperature to melt steel? [the other kids look at each other. Kyle's eyes are half-closed, showing his disinterest] We were told the Pentagon was hit by a hijacked plane as well, [a picture of the Pentagon with the damage clearly visible. A helicopter hovers nearby] but now look at this photo of the Pentagon. The hole is not nearly big enough. And if a plane hit it, where is the rest of the plane?

Clyde: Whoa...

Cartman: So now, the inevitable question: if terrorists didn't cause 9/11, who did? [he begins to use his fingers to to show the numbers as he says them] Remember that there are in fact two towers. Two minus one is one; one one - 11; two minus one is one; one one, and there are nine members on Silverstein's board of directors. That's nine-one-one. Nine-eleven. And take 2 - 1 + 9/11 and you get 12, which leads us all to the mastermind of the 9/11 attacks. [click. Kyle now appears superimposed on the 9/11 picture already onscreen].Kyle!

Kyle: Me??

Cartman: Twelve contains the numbers one and two, just like the toilet yesterday where womebody went number two instead of number one! And one and two with 911 and you get 914! Drop the 4 and it's 91! Exactly the score Kyle got on his spelling test twelve days after 9/11! Who has the most to gain from 9/11?! Kyle! Who was nowhere to be found the morning the towers fell?! Kyle! Who dropped the deuce in the urinal?! Kyle! But probably the most damning of all is the evidence seen in this photo of Tower 2! [clicks, and another shot of the Twin Towers is shown] When I zoomed in I saw what first appeared to be a blur, [he zooms in on the picture, which just becomes pixilated] but when I computer-enhanced it, [the pixilation disappears as the picture sharpens - it's a drawing of an evil Kyle with a large, sharp knife in his right hand] You almost got away with it, you sneaky butthole.

Below is the entire episode of ‘The Mystery of the Urinal Deuce’, so enjoy!